I am second a husband and father.
I am third a pastor.
I am fourth a musician.
That's who I am. My main desire in life is to worship God. I can't help but worship for what He has done for me. He has called me His own and adopted me into His family. I have been undone by His holiness and His offering of grace.
SO, here is the deal. Can I let you in on my life tonight?
Here's what scares me. God has entrusted me with three beautiful girls. This August I will celebrate my fifth wedding anniversary. My love (agape and eros) for Becky grows every day. I can't comprehend how committed she is to God, me, her children, and her work. She makes me better.
And God has entrusted me with two beautiful girls. Two living, breathing, smiling, crying, growing, loving and learning children. I desire to lead them to live GOSPEL-centered lives. I don't want the first person to date them to be some 16 year old punk with a car. I'm going to take them out on dates first. I want to SHOW them how men should treat them.
I desire to show them the Christ-followers they must be.
I desire to show them how to love their mother.
I desire to show them how to treat others.
I desire to show them the type of man they should look for.
So here is the type of man I desire for my girls.
Here is who I want to take interest in my daughters in 20 years. A man who is:
- A repenter with a repentant heart.
- A worshiper of the living God
- A disciple of Jesus (THIS IS NOT OPTIONAL)
- A man who is grounded in God's word
- A man who is willing to Stand in God's word
- A man with his hand to the plow
- A man who loves His mother.
- A man who has been led by his father.
- A man who cares about his health, but is not obsessed with making an "impression" on others
- A man who is faithful in church
- A man who is faithful in using his spiritual gifts in church
- A man who is committed to being used by God in the community (outside the church walls)
- A man who is honest
- A man who is not given to drunkenness
- A man who doesn't look at the world through religious lenses, rather gospel lenses.
- A man who strives for purity without excuse
- A man who doesn't just HEAR the word of God, but DOES/LIVES the word of God.
- A man who is passionate
- A man who is not a "workaholic"
- A man who has surrendered to the authority of Jesus and His teaching
- A man who is not afraid to LEAD
- A man who is willing to BE led by God
- A man who surrounds himself with other men who are being LED by GOD.
- A man who will love my girls as Christ loves the church.
- Let me be specific. A man who is willing to sacrifice HIS life for my girls (physically, spiritually, mentally) and completely surrender his life to God's command.
Do YOU want to know what REALLY scares me? I'm not sure there are men still like this. What happened to manhood? Biblical manhood? So here is my covenant to my girls. I am going to live my life as an example of that list.
I love you all
- Your husband and daddy.
5 comments:
Aww.. I love this man!
I vow to you Ben as a friend and Brother in Christ to live my life reflective of this list so that my son is prepared to be that kind of husband/boyfriend. Can we covenant in this together as Brothers in Christ? Can we covenant together to raise daughters on your end, and sons on my end, who live this kind of life? I challenge each man at The Bridge to do this just as you have Ben. I am just as scared as you are in regards to boys that daughters of this character are becoming extinct.
I have often said that there is one thing that only a father can teach. Mom can't teach it, paw paw can't teach it; It must come from a dad. That one thing is this: If you are raising a daughter; she will learn/choose what kind of man she will marry by observing her father. If you are raising a boy; he will learn how to treat his wife by watching how his dad treats his mom.
What better legacy can we leave? A legacy that we raised children that are strong in their faith and stand solidly on Jesus and The Bible. Children that are unwavering in their willingness to be led by Jesus. A legacy that we were man enough to put our macho- man egos aside to insure that our children had Godly fathers to follow and learn from.
I'm in.
This is an area that I've been struggling and praying for wisdom and guidance in for months. I'm a single mom, raising a daughter, and a previously divorced mom that has sent two sons into the world without a Christian upbringing or a Godly male role model. For those of us who have already "messed up" there is still hope....in Christ thru our members in the body of Christ.
We have our Church Community with a committed Leadership, we have our Cell Leaders and our Cell Families, we have Biblical Counseling, we have members who are more than willing to be accountability partners and to Mentor us so that we in turn can Mentor our children. If we take that first step, pray, put away our selfish pride and ask for help. Being faithful to God in committing to follow his word and his commands we can do this...but it will take all of us together.
I'm not a man... but, I read the post because I have a daughter and she doesn't have a Godly father like Ben. As her mother...I have committed to raise her as a Woman described in Titus 2 and have asked a Godly female member of our church to Mentor me, so that I might be that kind of woman myself. I challenge all of you to utilize resources we have available to us thru our church, continue to be teachable, pray for guidance and give control to God.
As Bill has challenged the men of the Bridge... I challenge the single moms to covenant together to raise healthy God fearing children who live as Christ asked and follow his Word ....
Agreed. Problem is...sometimes the punks turn out to be Godly men as they get a little older and wiser. :)
Shahn - that's why I wrote, who can date my daughter 20 years from now haha. :-)
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